The Ring - sequel to Fumbling
by Beth Arritt
Summary: Can Sam ignore the threat of Jack and fall in love?


This story is a sequel to one I wrote a couple of months ago called "Fumbling". You don't have to have read "Fumbling" for it to make sense, but it's easier to "picture this happening" if you've read it. It's on my webpage at http://gwis2.circ.gwu.edu/~betha/ or I can send you a copy if you e-mail me at betha@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu. And please let me know what you think of it. 

As usual, these characters are the property of Sander/Moses Productions, Cynthia Saunders, NBC, and the fantastic cast and crew of Profiler. I'm only borrowing them, I promise to give them back unharmed and not make any money off them while they're here. Special thanks to JenC for beta reading, and to Celli, editor extrodinaire! :) 

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The Ring By Beth Arritt Copyright 1997 

"So that's it?" Sam Waters asked, leaning back in her chair. 

"That's it," Grace Alvarez confirmed. "Never seen anything like it in all my years as an ME." 

"I wish all my cases were this easy," Sam said, as she looked at the open file on her desk. 

"You found an easy case?" Both women turned at the sound of a male voice. 

Sam smiled as she saw John Grant leaning in the doorway to her office. "Hey! I thought you weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow." 

"I got back early. What's the easy case?" 

"Remember the acid killer?" 

"Hmmm, let's see, can I remember back two days?" He feigned a look of concentration, then ducked to avoid the pencil aimed at his head. "Hey, watch it!" He gave Sam a mock glare. She just smiled. "So you have a lead on the guy?" 

"Better. We have him," Sam said, holding up the file. 

"Really?" He moved just inside the door and leaned against the wall. "Who is he?" 

"We're still waiting for an ID." "What, did one of his intended victims turn the tables and destroy his face and hands with acid?" 

"Not quite. Apparently he was preparing for his next victim when he tripped on a rug and fell. His face landed in the pan of acid he'd been carrying and he couldn't get the stuff off. Destroyed his fingerprints in the process of trying to wipe the acid off his face. He died before he could get help." 

"You're kidding me." 

"Police thought they had another victim," Grace chimed in, "until Sam got there and looked around." 

John shook his head. "Anything else interesting happen while I was gone?" 

"Not really," Sam replied with a shrug. 

"So then you're free tonight?" 

"Yeah. Chloe's at her grandmother's and I don't have any pressing cases, so..." 

"Great--" He was cut off by the sound of his beeper. "Bailey," he said, frowning at the offending object. "Must've found out I was back." He put his beeper away. "I'll be back," he said. He closed the door before he hurried down the hall to Bailey's office. 

"So, how are things on that front?" Grace asked, with a nod in the direction of the doorway. 

"Good," Sam replied in a non-committal tone. 

Grace studied her for a moment. "You don't sound so sure. Did something happen?" 

Sam frowned. "No..." 

"But?" Grace prompted after a pause. 

"But nothing," Sam replied. She opened he side drawer to her desk and began putting away her files. 

"I thought you psychiatrists knew better than to use avoidance techniques." 

"No, we know how to use them better than most people. They teach us that in college, you know." 

Grace smiled. "Point taken." She rose from the chair. "You know where to find me if you change your mind," she said as she started for the door. 

"Grace?" Sam stopped filing and sat back in her chair. 

Grace turned back to her expectantly. 

"Did you ever have any doubts about your relationship with Morgan before you married him?" 

Grace all but jumped back to her chair. "John didn't ask you to--" 

"Oh, God, no!" Sam exclaimed. "No. Nothing that serious." 

"Okay. So what is it then? You're having second thoughts about being involved with him?" 

"No, it's not that either." Sam fiddled with a pen on her desk, not looking Grace in the eye. "It's just... I mean we... well, we haven't..." 

"You haven't slept together?" Grace finished for her. Sam nodded. "Whoa. Really?" 

"You sound surprised." 

"It's just that the two of you seem so crazy about each other." 

"It's that obvious?" Sam said, blushing a little. 

"Well, it's not like you act like a couple of high school kids or anything. But in the months you've been going out--even before--the way the two of you look at each other sometimes, it actually raises the room temperature." 

Sam laughed. 

"I'm serious," Grace continued, smiling. "I just assumed that once you got together the two of you would..." 

"Jump into the nearest bed?" Sam offered with a grin. 

"Well, maybe not the nearest, but..." 

Sam's smile faded. "Yeah, well..." 

"So, what? You're not sure of how you feel about him?" 

"No, I know how I feel about him. I care about him a lot." Grace gave her a dubious look. "Okay, okay. I'm crazy about him." 

"That's more like it." 

"So then why is it every time we get... close, something stops me?" 

"I don't know. I'm not the shrink," Grace said with a smile. "What would you tell me if I came to you with this question?" 

"That you shouldn't be cheating on your husband?" Grace rewarded her with another look. "Tough crowd." Sam thought about it for a moment. "That you're avoiding something?" 

"So then what are you avoiding?" 

"If I knew that I wouldn't be avoiding it." 

"Well, since we're being candid, you slept with Coop, right?" Sam nodded. "So what's different about your relationship with John?" 

Sam shrugged. "I don't know if I can put it into words. Coop was just... fun. Uncomplicated. He wasn't around that much either. But John... I don't know. He's fun, easy to be with, he loves Chloe, he's just... great." She paused, twisting her wedding band on her finger as she thought. "But sometimes it's like he fills up all the space around me and there's no room for anything else. That s when I get edgy and pull away." She gave Grace a puzzled look. "What are you getting at?" 

"You're the shrink, you tell me." 

Sam smiled. "Shrinks are notorious for being able to figure out everyone but themselves." 

Grace studied her for a moment. "Seems to me if you figure out what's different about John, you'll figure out what you're avoiding." 

Sam nodded slowly. "Thanks for the session, Dr. Alvarez." 

John knocked on the door and walked in. "Grace." He handed her some files. "Dental records on the suspects in the acid case." 

Grace accepted the files with thanks. "Looks like Dr. Alvarez has an easier patient waiting." She stood up. "Think about what I said, Sam," she said as she walked out. 

"What was that all about?" John asked, looking after Grace. 

"Nothing. So what's on for tonight?" 

A few hours later, Sam was wrapped in John's arms, sitting on the couch in his apartment. An open bottle of wine sat next to an empty pizza box on the coffee table. Music was playing softly on the stereo across the room. 

"So, how was DC?" Sam asked. She felt John shrug. 

"Okay. The class at Quantico was interesting. The Hoover Building gives me the creeps, though." 

Sam laughed. "Why doesn't that surprise me?" she asked, turning her head to look at him. 

"You know how much I love office politics?" he suggested, raising an eyebrow when she laughed again. "What? I'm the epitome of tact." 

She turned her head to give him a disbelieving look. He managed to keep a straight face for all of five seconds before laughing himself. "Okay, all things considered, I'd rather have been right here." He kissed her softly. "With you." He kissed her again, which led to another kiss, and then another. 

Several minutes later just as things were starting to heat up, Sam pulled back and looked at her watch. "I should get going," she said, pulling back and straightening her sweater. 

"Why? Chloe's at her grandmother's house, you don't have anyone to answer to. Unless Angel's given you a curfew." 

She gave him a strained smile. "No, it's just late, and I have a lot to do tomorrow." She slipped her shoes on and stood up. 

"Sam, is something wrong? 

She picked up her coat from the chair next to the couch to avoid looking at him. "No, why?" 

"Well, we've been seeing each other for what, six months now? And it just seems like... like you'll only let me get so close, and then you push me away." 

Sam was about to put her coat on, but she stopped and gave him a confused look. "What do you mean?" 

"I just... I think..." He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "How do you really feel about me?" 

She studied him with narrowed eyes. "Is this because I'm not sleeping with you?" 

"I didn't say that!" 

"Then you don't want to sleep with me?" 

"No. I mean yes, but that's not what I--oh, Hell." He ran his hand over his face. "I really screwed this up. I'm not even sure what I meant anymore." 

"Oh, I think you were perfectly clear. You want to go out with me, but only if I'll sleep with you. This may surprise you, but I don't just jump into bed with anyone." 

"You sure jumped pretty fast with Coop!" 

Sam looked like he'd just slapped her. He had a similar expression on his face. "Sam, I'm sorry," he began almost immediately. She grabbed her purse and hurried to the door. "I didn't mean that--Sam, wait, don't go--" He caught the door as it was rebounding off the wall, but he didn't chase her. He just watched as she got into her car, then went back inside after she drove off. 

Sam slammed everything she touched on her way up to the second floor of the firehouse. When she slammed the inside door to the actual living space, Angel came down the hall in a hurry. 

\"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing," Sam replied, practically throwing her purse onto the couch. 

"Yeah, the same nothing that's bothering John apparently." 

Sam stopped in the middle of taking off her coat. "What?" 

"He called and said you were on your way home and were upset and could I call and let him know you got home safely." 

"Let him wonder." Sam finished taking off her coat and dropped it on top of her purse. She flopped onto the couch and covered her face with her hands. 

"Too late." Angel sat down in the chair. "I called him when I saw you pull up." Sam dropped her hands from her face and glared at her. "He was really worried, Sam. What happened anyway?" 

Sam calmed down slowly as she filled Angel in on the argument and how she stormed out of the apartment. "The worst thing is I don't think I would have gotten so mad if I didn't think he was right." 

"How so?" 

"Something's holding me back. I get to a certain point, and... I just freeze." 

"There's nothing wrong with not wanting to--" 

"That's just the thing, though, I do want to." She looked at her hands, twisting her ring. "I just... can't." 

Angel gave her an amused look. "I thought only men had that problem." 

Sam laughed, feeling more of the tension drain away. "That's not what I meant. I just freeze up, so I make some lame excuse and leave." 

"Do you feel like John's pressuring you?" 

"No," she said with a sigh. "He knew something was wrong, he was just looking for some straight answers. It's understandable. I've been going hot and cold on him for months; he just wanted to know why." 

Angel studied her for a moment. "You wanna know what I think?" 

"I'm not sure." 

"I'll take that as a yes," Angel said with a smile. "You're scared." 

Sam looked at her skeptically. "Of what? John? That's ridiculous." 

"Not John. Yourself. Well, your feelings." Sam still didn't look as if she believed her. "Coop was safe. If he were suddenly out of your life, or if something were to happen to him, you would have missed him, but it wouldn't have shattered you. Not like Tom's death. But John... maybe he's different." 

"That's crazy." 

"Is it? Think about it. You fought getting involved with him for a long time. You're still resisting. If you don't turn your heart over to him completely, he can't hurt you." Angel rose from the chair with a yawn. "Think about it," she repeated before she left the room. 

Sam wandered around the living room after Angel left. She put turned on the CD player, but the romantic Celine Dion songs only made her feel worse. When the song "I Love You" began, she groaned and covered her head with a pillow. 

I must be crazy now Maybe I dream too much But when I think of you I long to feel your touch 

Was she in love with John? She never expected to really love anyone after Tom's death. She wasn't even sure she could recognize that kind of love. There was too much pain between those memories and the present. 

"In love with him or not, I suppose I should at least call and apologize," she muttered to herself. She picked up the phone and went back to the couch, then called his apartment. 

"Hello?" he answered on the first ring. 

"Hi." 

"Sam." The line was silent for a moment. "Hi." 

"I'm sorry--" they began at the same time, then both broke off laughing. 

"Sam, I had no right to--" 

"No, John, you did. You wanted answers. I don't blame you." I'd like some myself. "But you want answers I don't have just yet. Can you handle that?" 

He hesitated only a second before answering. "Yeah. I can deal with it. As long as I know I haven't done anything to piss you off." 

"You haven't. It's me. I just need to sort some things out, that's all." 

"Fair enough. So, you wanna have dinner tomorrow night? I promise, no questions harder than 'What do you want for dessert?'" 

Sam smiled. "Sure. That sounds great." She yawned and looked at her watch. "It's getting late, and I need some sleep, so let's make plans tomorrow, okay?" 

"Okay." He paused briefly. "I'm glad you called." 

"Me too. Goodnight." 

"Sweet dreams, Sam." She hung up the phone and looked at it for a moment before she turned off the CD player and headed down the hall to her room. 

The next morning John was out doing some legwork, but Sam found a bunch of daisies on her desk when she came in. She picked up the folded note lying on top as she took off her coat. 

"Thought I'd start the day off on the right foot instead of with my foot in my mouth," she read softly. The man certainly has a way with words, she thought with a smile. 

She talked to John on the phone only once the whole day, long enough to thank him for the flowers and arrange for him to pick her up for dinner that evening. The rest of the day turned out to be so busy that she was running late by the time she arrived at the firehouse. As she got out of her car she saw something in the outside mailbox. When she got closer she realized it was daisies. John must have stopped by at some point. She grabbed them and took them upstairs with her. 

Once upstairs she went into the kitchen to put the flowers in water. As she took off the paper surrounding them she discovered a cassette tape inside. Intrigued, she put the tape into the cassette player in the living room and pressed play. Celine Dion's "I Love You" came through the speakers. Sam smiled. He must have heard it in the background last night. She left the music playing and started back to the kitchen to put the flowers in water, then stopped cold. 

"Samantha... such beautiful words aren't they, Samantha? Together till the end of time, just like you and me." Angel came out of the bedroom, staring at Sam in horror when she realized it was Jack's voice on the tape, speaking over the music. "Try all you want, Samantha, no one will ever be able to keep you. You belong to me. Till the end of time." The recording ended. 

Angel turned the tape player off. Sam grabbed the phone and dialed John's number. He wasn't home. He was probably on his way to the firehouse. She reached Bailey on the first try and filled him in quickly. He promised to be there within fifteen minutes with a forensics team. 

She had just hung up the phone when the door buzzer rang. It was John. Angel hurried to let him in. 

"Hey, Angel, where's--" He stopped mid-sentence when he saw Sam. "What happened?" he asked immediately, rushing over to her. 

"It was Jack," she said in a hoarse voice. "He knew about the daisies, and the song..." 

John led her to the couch, sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms. "Shhh, it's okay." He held her until she stopped shaking. 

Finally she sat up. "Sorry. This one really took me by surprise." 

"It's okay." He smoothed her hair back from her forehead, tucking it behind her ear. "What happened?" 

"There were daisies in the mailbox when I came home. I figured they were from you. I opened them up to put them in water, and this tape fell out, so I played it. It was the song I was listening to last night when I was talking to you on the phone. Then Jack started talking over the music." 

"What did he say?" 

"I don't remember. Something about me being his 'till the end of time'. The tape's still in the stereo. Take it--I certainly don't want it." She took a deep breath. "What he said wasn't important anyway. That's not the real message. He wants me to know he's watching. And listening." 

The door buzzer sounded again. Angel let Bailey and the forensics team into the firehouse. John stayed with Sam while she filled Bailey in on what happened, then got up to investigate the house for himself. 

"He knew what I was listening to last night, Bailey. He knew what kind of flowers John gave me this morning." 

"I know, Sam. We've got a team going over headquarters inside and out, just like here. We'll stop him." 

"For now," she said softly. 

Bailey's cell phone rang. He answered and listened briefly. "Good. Let me know if you trace it." He hung up. 

"That was George," he said to Sam. "They found a kind of tap on your phone line, as well as mine and John's. Sophisticated computer link; George is trying to trace it to the source now." Sam merely nodded. "No cameras or mikes on headquarters. George is still running diagnostics on the internal system, but he hasn't found any tampering so far. Did you talk about the flowers on the phone?" Sam thought back to her conversation with John. "I thanked him for the flowers, but I didn't mention what kind they were." 

"You're sure?" 

"Yeah. How would he know if he doesn't have cameras? Unless..." 

"... he was tailing John," Bailey finished for her. 

John walked up at that moment. "Did I hear my name?" 

Bailey turned to John. "We think Jack might have been following you today. Where did you get the flowers?" 

"That flower shop around the corner from the office." 

"Then either he was following you, or he's watching headquarters himself," Sam surmised. 

One of the other agents pulled Bailey aside. John sat down next to Sam and put his arm around her. "You okay?" Her head moved against his shoulder as she nodded. "Good." He held her silently for a moment. "Sam... don't let him get to you." He shifted his position on the couch to look into her eyes. "We all put our lives on the line every day in this job. He's just one of the many threats we face because of what we do. Remember that." 

Before she could respond, Bailey was back. "They found two laser mikes nearby; they've been deactivated. Same kind of tap into your phone line here as the ones at the office. They've taken care of that as well." 

"Thanks." 

"Sam... we've taken away his ears, and we know he's close. It's possible he'll come here." 

"Not possible. Likely." She sounded resigned. 

"All the more reason you need extra protection." 

"I'll stay here," John volunteered. 

Bailey nodded. "I'm going to double the guard outside and set up rolling patrols. You want the inside cameras on?" 

Sam shook her head. "Leave them on standby. I can turn them on by remote if I need to." 

"Okay, but you keep the remote on you at all times." 

"I will." She reached over into the drawer on the end table and pulled out a small device that resembled a car alarm remote and put it in her pocket. "I have a couple more of those in different places in the house. Don't worry, if I need you, you'll know it." 

The forensics crew finished gathering up their equipment and left, Bailey following the last member out the door. Angel had been hiding in her room ever since they finished sweeping it for bugs. She reappeared when she heard them leave. 

"Sorry, Sam, all those agents swarming around get to me." 

"I know, Angel. I'm sorry." 

"It's not your fault. Anyway, I just came to say goodnight." She turned to John. "You staying?" 

"Yeah, I'm gonna stick around." 

Angel nodded. "I'll see you both in the morning then." She turned and went back down the hall, leaving John and Sam sitting on the couch in silence. 

"We never did get to go to dinner," John said after a few minutes. 

"We could order out if you're hungry." 

"I think I've lost my appetite." 

"Me too," Sam said, snuggling in closer to him. 

"We could watch a movie," John suggested. 

"Sure. As long as it's something light. I could use a good distraction right now." As soon as she said it, Sam had to quickly steer her thoughts away from other forms of distraction, forms that would lead to more problems than solutions. From the way John's body tensed at her comment, she guessed he was thinking along the same lines. 

John rose quickly and went over to the video cabinet next to the TV. After a quick survey of the contents, he pulled out a tape. "The Princess Bride?" 

"Good choice." 

"I've never seen it," he said, putting the tape in the VCR before returning to the couch and putting his arm over her shoulders, but keeping a little distance at the same time. 

"You really have had a deprived life, haven't you?" 

"Yeah, well, I guess I just need someone to culturize me." 

Sam laughed. "I don't know if I'd call this movie 'culture', but it's fun." She settled back into the couch and let her mind lose itself in the fairy tale movie. 

***** 

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty, wake up." 

Sam opened her eyes. The movie credits were rolling up the screen. She sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Sorry. I guess I was more tired than I thought. Some date, huh?" 

"That's okay. I had the movie to keep me company," John said with a smile. "I think you're probably better off going to bed, though." 

"Yeah." She yawned and stretched as she stood up. He walked her down the hall to her room. When they stopped at her door, he leaned down and gave her a quick kiss, followed by a lingering one. 

"Night, Sam." He backed away. 

"Goodnight." She reluctantly opened her door and went in, closing the door behind her. She fought the urge to open the door again and ask him to come in. It would have been wonderful to have him next to her, making her feel safe, but it wouldn't be fair, no matter how tempting the idea was. 

A little later she was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when she heard a light knock on the door. "Come in," she called, sitting up and turning on the lamp next to her bed. John poked his head in the room. 

"Hey. I was about to crash for a while, but I thought I'd check on you first." He came all the way into the room, closing the door before crossing to sit on the bed next to her. "How're you doing?" 

"Okay. I couldn't sleep, but that's hardly surprising." 

"You didn't seem to be having any trouble sleeping in the living room," he teased gently. "You were out for the count." 

"Yeah, but there's a difference. I wasn't trying to sleep then." Besides, you were there. "Now I'm trying to sleep," she continued, "and all I can do is think." 

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked, moving into a more comfortable sitting position. 

"What's left to talk about? It's been talked to death. Honestly, I'm tired. I'm tired of Jack, I'm tired of living under a microscope because of him." Sam leaned forward to rest her forehead against his chest. I'm just tired. He put his arms around her and rubbed her back lightly. 

"The only way to fight him is to not let him get to you." 

"I know." She leaned back slightly to look up at him. Their eyes locked. Sam pulled his head down for a kiss. "Stay with me," she asked against his lips, then kissed him again. He returned the kiss, then pulled back and looked into her eyes for a long moment. 

"I don't think that's a good idea," he whispered finally. She gave him a puzzled look. "Why?" 

He took her hands from his face and held them, choosing his words carefully. "I'd like nothing more than to stay here with you. But I can't do it when you're asking for the wrong reasons." 

"And what reasons are those?" When John hesitated, Sam took her right hand out of his and placed it on his cheek. "I won't get angry." He looked skeptical. "Okay, I promise to try not to get angry, is that better? I need to know what's bothering you." 

"I think you're scared," he said after a moment. "I think you're afraid that I'll disappear or something, so you hold back so you won't get hurt. And until you get past... this.," he fingered the wedding band she still wore on her left hand, "completely, nothing I can say is going to change that." Sam started to argue, but he held a finger to her lips. "Shhh. I can wait, Sam. But it has to be all or nothing. I care too much about you to accept anything less." He kissed her softly and left the room. 

***** 

After he d gone, she turned out the light and lay down, hugging the blankets around her. She supposed if you looked at it from an objective point of view, John might be right. She could be afraid. But she didn t have the luxury of objectivity; it was her life. She d expended a lot of energy locking the past away. To pull it out and look at it again would be painful. 

She thought of the saying " Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all." She wasn't so convinced that was true. Especially when you feel responsible for the loss. She held her hand up, her wedding ring barely visible in the moonlight that filtered in through the window. Four and a half years. It seemed like yesterday, and a lifetime ago. She let down her defenses and let the memories flow through her mind in fractured pieces. 

"...do you, Samantha, take Tom..." "...It's a girl! A beautiful baby girl! Almost as beautiful as her mother..." "... Sam, say something. I feel like an idiot down here on my knee. People are starting to stare. Come on, say you'll marry me..." "... I don't think you should go in there, Dr. Waters..." "... Ashes to ashes, dust to dust... 

Sam shook herself out of her thoughts, wiping the tears off her face. She squeezed her eyes shut and turned onto her side, hugging the blankets around her body tightly, like a child trying to ignore the monster in the closet. But the monster wouldn't go away. 

Almost against her will, her eyes opened as the truth hit her. She was scared. 

Part of her was happy to know what the problem was. The part of her that had to deal with the problem would have preferred the other part had cooperated and gone to sleep. 

She turned over onto her other side and tried to sleep again. No luck. After a few minutes she gave up and flopped onto her back. 

How do you deal with fear? The textbook answer was to face it. That would be a little tough; in order to face it, she d first have to conquer it. Her finely tuned self-defense mechanisms didn't want to let her take the risk of loving John completely, no matter how much she tried. 

Sam closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep. She wasn't getting anything accomplished by thinking at this hour. Maybe I can dream up an answer. 

She finally fell asleep, only to wake after a few hours of fitful dreams that left her feeling even less rested. She rolled over and looked at the alarm clock by the bed. 4:08. Still a couple of hours until she could start getting ready for work. She threw back the blankets with a frustrated sigh and grabbed her robe. Maybe hot chocolate would help. It couldn't hurt. 

As she got closer to the living room, Sam could hear the TV. She walked tentatively into the room, not wanting to start a conversation with John if she could help it. She quickly realized she had nothing to worry about. He had fallen asleep watching The Princess Bride. Sam walked quietly over to the couch and looked down at him. He hadn't even taken his shoes off, he'd just put his feet up on the couch and gone to sleep. She didn't want to wake him by taking his shoes off, so she settled for cove ring him to the waist with a blanket. Lying there with his arms crossed over his chest, he looked almost like a little boy who needed to be protected. Except that he was the protector, she thought, her eyes straying to the gun in the shoulder holster he hadn t bothered to remove. She hated the thought of Jack coming after him. If anything ever happened to John... If anything happened to John she'd be devastated. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. It didn't matter what she did, he'd already wormed his way into her heart. Even if she never saw him again, part of her would disappear if something happened to him. 

Instead of the rising fear she had expected to feel, she felt a sort of calm acceptance. There wasn't anything she could do to control her feelings. Somewhere along the line she'd let him into her heart without even noticing. 

A smile crept onto her face. She thought briefly about waking John up, but then came up with a better idea. 

The next afternoon Sam was sitting at her desk staring at a file when John knocked on the open door. 

"Hey, Sam, --" He stopped short at the big smile on her face. "What happened to you?" 

Sam just shrugged. "What's up?" 

"Huh? Oh, I came to see if you wanted to go to dinner." 

"Sure." She looked at her watch. "Six okay?" 

"Fine. We can leave from here." He looked at her sitting there with that grin on her face. "You sure you're okay?" 

"I'm fine." He looked skeptical. "Really." Her phone rang. "I'll see you at six," she said as she reached for the phone. 

***** 

They went to an Italian restaurant a couple of blocks from the firehouse. After dinner, John walked Sam home, but stopped at the door on the second floor. 

"I guess I'll say goodnight here," he said. 

She unlocked and opened the door. "Why don't you come in?" 

John hesitated. "You've got plenty of protection downstairs. You'll be fine." 

"Come on." She pulled him in the door by the arm. "I have something I want to show you. Then you can leave if you want." 

Sam led him down the hall. She stopped outside her bedroom and opened the door. 

"Sam..." 

"Shhh." She put a finger to John's lips. "I promise not to try to seduce you. I have something I want you to see." She pulled him into the room. He stopped just inside the door, looking poised for a quick escape. Sam walked over to her dresser and opened the top drawer, then reached into the back and pulled out a ring box. Slowly she walked back to the door and stopped a couple of feet from where John stood. 

"When Tom died," she said, looking down at her hands and twisting her wedding band, "I swore I wouldn't take this off until Jack was either behind bars, or dead. But here I am, over four years later, and he's neither." 

John took her left hand in both of his. "You don't have to do this for me, Sam." 

"I know." She looked into his eyes. "I have to do it for me." She pulled her hand away and played with her ring again. 

"Jack uses Tom to control me. He uses my guilt to control me. He uses my fear to control me." She took a deep breath. "I can't get rid of all the guilt or all the fear, but I'm not handing him any leverage on a silver platter." She put the ring box in John's hand and worked her wedding band off her finger. "And I'm not hiding behind Tom's death anymore." 

She took the box back, put the ring inside and closed it. "For Chloe," she said, holding the box up for a moment. Then she went back to the dresser and put the box away. "It was keeping me from something very special," she added as she walked back to where John stood. 

He looked into her smiling eyes. "I don't know what to say." 

She hesitated only slightly before saying, "'I love you' would be nice." 

"I love you," he said immediately. Then he kissed her as she pulled him by the tie toward the bed. She wasn't watching where she was going, so she fell onto the bed, pulling him down with her. 

"Are you sure about this?" he asked one last time, looking down at her and caressing her check. 

"More sure than I've been about anything in a long time." 


End file.
